I have learned so much about the world around me, even with only digging at the surface of this topic. First, I would like to thank all of my wonderful professors who set time aside to meet with me and explain these greetings
Through my broad analysis of the different greetings, I came across two major relationships. The first one is the definition of personal space. Some areas valued personal space more than other areas. I found that East Asia valued personal space the most and Europe valued it the least. Latin America closely followed Europe while the others (United States, Middle East and Africa) were in the middle of the scale.
The second relationship I would was the idea of westernization. Many cultural areas changed their forms of greeting to reflect western values. The handshake has become more and more universal. This change is most evident in East Asia and Africa.
So, how do different cultures co-exist?
Greetings are just the door that opens you to another culture. By learning just that first step, we show that we are trying to understand a culture and that we deem their culture important.
Culture isn't just about that first "Hello." It's what comes after that is the most important part. That's when we really start to co-exist.
I was not originally going to write a post about Africa but I figured out that I was missing a whole continent worth of countries. There aren't many people from Africa on my college campus. However, I have a professor from Kenya who was able to describe some of the greeting customs.
Background Information: Kenya is a country in Southeast Asia that is located along the coast of the Indian Ocean. Their government is a presidential republic and the country was a British colony until 1963.
Since Kenya used to be under British rule, the greetings are highly influenced by the Western ways, especially in the Metropolitan areas. To greet, Kenyans always use a handshake. It is considered rude to only use verbal greetings. When you are familiar with someone, a hug is acceptable. Double cheek kisses are rare. Public intimacy, even a small kiss, is considered to be rude and is not accepted.
Personal space depends on the living situations. Obviously, when you live in a city, there is much less distance you can put between yourself and another person. However, when being conscious of personal space, to Kenyans, distance and space is equal to respect.
Video:
Here is a video to show how people greet in South Africa.
In East Asia, especially China, the people rely on oral and visual forms of greeting. In China and Japan, when a person greets another, one does a slight bow from the waist, sometimes just from the head. More commonly followed in Japan, rank determines bow. If you are of a lower rank than another, your bow is lower and vice versa. In China, the bow is still used as a traditional reference.
To further understand the greetings of East Asia, I talked with one of my former professors who currently runs the International Education office at my college. For his degree, he studied East Asia, specifically China. In addition, he lived for two and a half years in mainland China and two and a half years in Taiwan.
When you are greeting for someone for the first time in China, you start with a complete and firm handshake. You exchange business cards with that person and you present it with both hands. In return, that person must accept the business card with two hands and must not put the card away in your presence. Throughout this whole exchange, eye contact is crucial. In China, status matters and you address someone with their full formal title. For example: Harvard College Professor Miller. It is often better to stick with a handshake then to hug a person of the opposite gender unless you have a close personal relationship.
Personal relationships are key when greeting in China. The duration of the relationship determines the level of intimacy. If you know someone well, you give a handshake or a hug. The Chinese are very conscious of age and often put a sibling reference such as "little" and "elder" followed by their last name.
According to my professor, intimacy and personal space is even more valued in China than in the United States. For him, he found it had to adjust to the intimacy of Chinese culture.
Greetings in the Middle East can be divided into two categories: secular greetings of the Arab people and religious greetings of Jewish, Christian and Muslim origin.
To learn about and understand the greetings of this area, I interviewed my former religion professor who is a Muslim who was born in Pakistan and studied Judaism and Christianity.
Arab greetings are more informal than the religious greetings. An Arab would give another Arab a kiss of the cheek, a handshake or an embrace if they were of the same gender. When greeting at a distance, Arabs often put a hand in the hair and then place it on their heart.
In addition to Arab greetings, a member of a Middle Eastern country would also say the word Hebrew word "Shalom" when saying hello and good-bye. "Shalom" means "peace." On Friday, the day before the Jewish holy day, a Jew says "Shalom" twice.
Christian and Islamic greetings are similar but instead use the Arabic words that translate to "Peace" and "God be with you." Muslims also never shake hands with the other gender.
My professor described these greetings as less personal than those of the American people. Interestingly enough, in the Middle East, there is a similar definition of personal space.
Latin America includes: Mexico, Central America, The Caribbean and the majority of South America, including Brazil.
All of these countries have one important thing in common: All of them were settled by Spain and Portugal. This means that there are some cultural similarities in these regions, such as language. In addition, these countries have cultural influences from Spain and Portugal, also, greetings included.
To learn about these greetings, I interviewed my Spanish Interpretation professor, who was born and raised in Mexico.
For social situations, Latin Americans utilize the cheek kiss but instead of doing two, they only do one. They also shake hands. In formal situations, a hand shake is the standard form of greeting. Refusing a handshake is rude and often looked down upon. Latin Americans generally don't hug unless it is a special occasion. All of these greetings are relatively universal throughout Latin America.
My professor found that coming into American culture was difficult after being raised in Latin America. She described it as complicated. Americans try to give a real kiss on the cheek and often find her style of greeting to mean that there is an attraction.
Personal experience:
One of my friends while I was studying abroad was from Brazil and he was relatively comfortable with the Spanish concept of space. From what I have seen, the concept of space in Latin America is in between the American concept of personal space and the Spanish concept of personal space.
In the Fall of 2015, I studied abroad in Valencia, Spain. There, I was able to immerse myself in the culture of Spain and improve my Spanish language skills. While I was there, I was able to learn and experience firsthand the greetings of Spain. I also learned different European greetings from my fellow international students.
I would, of course, like to begin with Spanish greetings. In Spain, when two girls meet, they kiss both cheeks. However, these kisses aren't real kisses. You touch cheek to cheek starting from the left and going to the right. When a guy and a girl meet, they also do the double kiss. Two men give a customary handshake or the "bro hug." It is also common to hug and hold hands. The Spanish definition of personal space is much dfferent than that of American culture. The Spaniards find it normal to have physical contact with members of either gender. Spaniards use verbal communication as well.
The French have similar greeting customs as well. However, in France, men give cheek kisses as well. The Italians also utilize the same methods of greeting as the Spanish and French, but they have one difference. Instead of kissing cheeks from left to right, they go from right to left. In France, Spain and Italy, it is customary to cheek kiss again before you leave.
In Germany, when greeting a stranger, one says hello and shakes hands. Germans usually don't hug, even if it a familiar relationship. In German standards, even Americans touch too much. In Switzerland and the Netherlands, they kiss three cheeks. They go from left to right to left.
The British also utilize the handshake in formal and non-formal settings. When you know someone, it is common to kiss one cheek, including members of the opposite gender. In the United Kingdom, they also rely heavily on verbal greetings.
Personal Experience:
For me, it was very awkward the first month or so when I would greet someone. I wasn't used to people being in my personal space and I never really figured on when someone wanted to kiss cheeks with me or hug me. After awhile, I became used to it. When I came back to America, I found it strange how little Americans actually touch when greeting.
Going along with that, it was strange for me to see men and women constantly touch. On many occasions, I mistook two friends as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Video:
Here is an American viewpoint on "social kissing."
One of the most common American stereotypes is that we always shake hands when we see each other. Now, you and I both know that this stereotype is false. We don't always shake hands. We actually usually do less than that.
To understand how Americans and Canadians greet each other, we first need to discuss how these countries view personal space. We value our personal space. We don't touch. It is uncomfortable when someone is in your personal "bubble." We prefer not to have strangers near us and it requires a more developed relationship with someone before he or she is allowed to touch us or even be close to us. It is almost like we are closed off.
So what is an acceptable greeting in American and Canadian society?
Well, for starters, when you greet someone for the first time, you generally do not touch. You say "hello " and introduce yourself. However, generally, you do not make physical contact. Often, you give an awkward head nod and an awkward wave. Also, Americans and Canadians rely heavily on verbal greetings. We often just say "hello" or "how are you?"
In a formal setting, we use a short and strong handshake. This could be during an interview, a business meeting or when you are meeting a person of a higher professional status. This is often the way two men greet each other, also. The handshake is not the most common greeting but it is an important gesture in American and Canadian culture.
Once you become familiar with someone, you are allowed to make physical contact. Most commonly, we hug. Once you have established a relationship with someone, it is acceptable to hug. We hug our friends and our family. We hug to say hello and we hug to say good-bye. By giving someone a hug, it establishes the level of your relationship with someone. In addition to hugging, the older generation also gives a kiss on the cheek. This is not common in the younger generations. However, men and women rarely hug unless they are old friends or family. In American and Canadian society, hugging a member of the opposite gender could mean that you have a romantic relationship of some sort and the hug could be offensive to the significant other of one of the pair.
Last but not least, we have the fist pump. The fist pump is a newer greeting that is heavily used by the younger generation. Most commonly, men use this greeting but women can use it to. This could be a sign of hello or could be a way to congratulate or commemorate someone on something. This could simply be used to say "good job" at a sporting event or successfully working together in a team.
My Experiences:
When I studied abroad in Spain, I had become used to the method of greeting there. Europeans don't have the same definition of personal space (I will talk about this in my next post). When I came back, I realized how awkward our system of greeting actually is. I felt like I should have been doing more, instead of awkwardly standing there, staring at the person.
From the Outside:
I had talked with a Spanish exchange student at college this year and I asked him how he felt about our greetings. He said he often had to quiet himself down when he met someone and he found it awkward that we don't want to be touched. He said that girls often thought he was flirting with them when really he was just following his culture.
Video:
This video will help you further understand the American and Canadian style of greeting.
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